The Past Comes Back
by DancingPhalangess
Summary: One shot following the revelation that Ronnie tried to hide Jack's child from him. How will Jack react to Ronnie having done the same thing as her father did to her all those years ago?


**This is a one shot I felt like writing following up from Tuesday's episode. I finally have a little computer access so am making the most of it while I have the chance.**

Ronnie dropped her eyes to the floor and wrapped her arms around her stomach, more as a comfort to herself than to protect her unborn child from her mess. She couldn't meet anyone's gaze. Of course, she had known all along it would come to this; the truth wouldn't have stayed buried forever and she knew that, but it didn't make it any easier to stand in the Square and feeling everyone's shocked, angry stares on her. She didn't dare look at Jack. Ronnie could read his expression without even looking at him, and knew he was giving her a look of utmost betrayal.

In front of Ronnie's eye-line, an ant crawled across the pavement, and she watched it with something of a fascination to distract herself from the ticking of the bomb that had just been set off. The bomb that was going to explode at any minute. The ant scuttled off the edge of the pavement, not realising the danger of the drain grate that lay directly beneath it, and instantly pitched to its doom, falling freely into the pit of awaiting darkness that was entirely its own doing. Bizarrely, that was a comfort to Ronnie. She thought, _at least I'm not alone. _

"You scheming cow!" The bomb finally exploded in the form of Bianca, snapping Ronnie out of the half trace she had fallen into from watching the ant. She jumped slightly and lifted her head in the same moment that the screaming red head flew at her, yanking her head backwards by the hair. Ronnie heard her neck click and felt a shooting pain just moments before Bianca's slap landed on her cheek with a force that snapped her already painful neck to the left, forcing her to face Jack.

He simply stared at her, as if he couldn't quite recognise who she was. That sent a jolt of pain through Ronnie that hurt far more than Bianca's attack had done, and so she didn't have to see it anymore, Ronnie turned her head back to the front, although it meant staring into Bianca's furious face. Ronnie didn't even try to defend herself. Instead, she used her arms to protect her stomach, in case Bianca went for her there. There was no way her baby was going to suffer because of her own selfishness.

"You almost broke up my marriage, you bitch!" She screamed, raising her hand to strike Ronnie once again, but that time, Ricky stepped in, seizing his wife's wrist before it could hit target. He gently but firmly pulled a struggling Bianca away from Ronnie, stumbling over his hurried words in an attempt to calm her down. Ronnie wanted to mutter a thanks, but the look Ricky gave her as she met his eyes told her that he had done it for Bianca, not her.

Ricky said nothing as he dragged a still screaming Bianca away across the Square, just gave Ronnie a cold look of pity mixed with disgust. Ronnie would rather he had shouted at her in the way his wife had done. She could take the violence, it was that look that she couldn't stand. Sam said nothing too, she simply shook her head at her cousin's stupidity at not being able to cover up her lies and walked away, free from all the blame and hatred that had clung to her just moments ago.

Which left Ronnie alone with Jack.

She still couldn't bear to look at him. She didn't want to see the same look she had seen in Ricky's eyes reflected in her fiancé's. If he still was that. Jack said nothing to break the silence, just turned with the aid of his walking stick and hobbled back inside the flat.

Ronnie hovered on the pavement, not sure whether she should follow him in or leave him to his own devices, but Jack hadn't shut the door behind him, so she assumed he had wanted her to follow. Did that mean he didn't hate her enough not to want her around, or hated her so much, he didn't want to cool down before talking to her as he no longer cared what he said? Ronnie knew that if Jack left her, it would be the end of them. The final break-up. It had been their last shot, both had known from the start that if they couldn't get that attempt to work, that was it with them for good.

Reluctantly, filled with dread with what was to come, Ronnie followed Jack inside, cautiously shutting the door behind her, blocking out the rest of the world, just as she had always done before. Ronnie knew that time though, she was going to have to face Jack. He would want to know why she did what she did, and for once she wouldn't be able to put on her Ice Queen mask and brush of his questions. If she wanted their relationship to survive, she was going to have to tell him.

"You tried to keep my son away from me." It wasn't a question or an accusation. Both knew what Ronnie had done and neither were denying it, but it was a silent plea for the truth, a need for explanation as to why Ronnie would do the very same thing to someone else as she had hated her father for so long.

"I'm sorry," was all Ronnie could manage, so unused to talking about her feelings to anyone, especially Jack. It was him who she had always pushed out the most, scared of how much she loved him and how he could use anything she told him to hurt her. Coming from him, she knew anything he did use against her would hurt one thousand times more than anything ever had coming from even Roxy.

"You're sorry?" Jack spoke the words, calmly, quietly, but Ronnie could hear the shake of anger within his voice, the undertone of something that resembled hatred that was meant for her. He wanted more, he wanted Ronnie to tell him exactly why she had done what she did, what had been going through her mind, why she hadn't told Jack she was so opposed to him being the father. "What I want to know Ronnie," Jack's anger crept into his voice much more prominently than before, "is why you would want to keep my child from me when you know exactly how it feels."

Ronnie pressed her lips together and glimpsed briefly down at the floor before looking up again. She had to face it. She deserved this, she had expected it. She had just forgotten how to put her feelings into words after going so long keeping them wrapped up inside her where no one could see them and they were safe from anyone's spiteful words. It was time to unwrap them.

"I just- the thought of you having a baby with both my sister and cousin...I was scared Jack, scared that I would lose this baby, scared that you would be too busy with Sam's to care about ours. You have three kids now, why would you want another? I don't know why I did it, it's not an excuse I know, I just thought about what would happen if Sam's baby was yours and I couldn't stand it."

"Then why didn't you tell me that!" Roared Jack, turning to face her, his eyes blazing with fury. "Instead of putting on your usual Ice Queen act, why the hell didn't you just tell me it bothered you? It wouldn't have changed to results I know, but it would have stopped this! For God's sake Ron, why do you always have to make everything so hard?"

Ronnie let out the breath she had been holding and wrung her hands together, rubbing the side of her wrist to calm herself down. It was a nervous habit she had grown into when she was just a teenager and had never managed to get out of. Over the years, it had lessened, but came back with a vengeance when Danielle had died in her arms. "I wanted to tell you, I just...I couldn't find the words."

"So you thought you'd hide my son from me instead?" Yelled Jack, losing it. "Bloody hell Ron, how did you feel when your dad took Amy? Nineteen years on and you were sobbing on my shoulder, and you were prepared to do that to someone else!" Jack paused, drawing in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. He couldn't remember ever feeling so angry with her. Not just because she had tried to hide his son, it's not as if he had ever really wanted Sam's kid to be his, but because she lied to him. Because she was doing something that had hurt her so much to someone else.

"That's not the same Jack and you know it! My dad took my daughter from my arms while I begged him not to! He told me she was dead! I wanted my daughter, you never wanted this child!" Jack let out a cry of fury and lashed out at a nearby pile of plates with his stick. They shattered and china flew everywhere. Ronnie flinched, but didn't move from her position. She wasn't afraid of Jack. "Yes, I would rather Sam's baby wasn't mine, but that doesn't excuse the fact that you were going to keep a child away from his real father! It doesn't change that you lied to me! Again!"

A fly buzzed near Ronnie's ear, reminding her of the rest of the world that was going on as normal, oblivious to the furious row going on between her and Jack. It was strange to think that no one else was affected by the argument other than them. It reminded her of just how cut off she was from the rest of the world when the only other person she had who might give a toss what happened in her life was her sister. One by one, everyone she had ever loved had either left her or hurt her beyond damage repairs. She sighed.

"I didn't want to lie, but it was the only way to stop you..." Ronnie stopped and swallowed hard to rid herself of the lump that had grown in her throat. She never cried, particularly not in front of people. Not when she had no right to the tears. "It was the only way to stop you realising you can do so much better," she said, in a voice barely above a whisper. For Ronnie, that was her revealing her most vulnerable side, telling Jack how scared she was that he wouldn't want her anymore; but that was where she stopped, not wanting to go on with what it was that made her so unworthy of his love.

Jack ran a hand through his hair, leaning on the kitchen counter as his legs had begun to grow tired from standing. A part of him wanted to comfort and hold her, tell her that he would never realise any such thing because he would never be happier with anyone else than he was with her, but he was still too angry. That would come later, when they had screamed themselves out and said all the things they would come to regret. So instead of telling her that, he said the one thing he knew would hurt her.

"Yeah, well sometimes I think maybe I can. You've lied about this, you lied about the condoms, trying to trick me into having a baby with you! You know, it makes me wonder Ron, what else could you be lying about?" Ronnie's hand immediately fell to her stomach, resting on the small bump that wasn't noticeable under her baggy top, she flattened her hand against her stomach, as if Jack's refusal to believe her baby was really there would cause it to vanish as if it had never existed. "Being 5 months pregnant is a bit of a hard one to pull off Jack! What about scans, how would I cover up the baby never actually arriving? I can show you the scan pictures if you don't believe me. Ring the doctor why don't you?"

Without a change of expression, Jack looked directly at Ronnie, staring coldly into her eyes for maximum hurt. "That's not what I meant," was all he said and Ronnie blinked in confusion, thinking of what else she could possibly be lying about.

It dawned on her slowly, the answer reaching her bit by bit and then came the torrent of pain, all in one large pile that dropped immediately into her heart, sending pain jolting through her body and a shocked cry escaped her lips. A brief spell of dizziness passed over her at the shock of Jack sinking so low, but it soon passed. She knew that time, she deserved it. But that didn't make it any easier to hear.

"No!" She gasped, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. "Please take that back." But Jack just glared in disgust and Ronnie turned away from him to face the wall so he couldn't see the tears that escaped from the corners of her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She could just about deal with Jack being so angry with her, hating her even. But she couldn't stand it if he too didn't believe her. With Roxy, Peggy and now even Jack doubting her story, it just confirmed all the thoughts in her head about how dirty she was, how everything that had happened was all her fault.

"You're just a liar Ronnie. You're sick," was the last thing Jack said before hobbling past her as fast as he could, right out of the flat. Ronnie heard the door slam behind him, and then there was only a silence in which she could hear the echoes of the argument that had just taken place, bouncing off the walls and ringing in her ears. He was never going to believe another word she said, and Ronnie didn't blame him.

It's not as if she had wanted to keep his child away from him. She just hadn't been able to bear the thought of him having a baby with another one of her family members before he had one with her. Although she was five months along, there was still no confirmation yet that everything with her own child was going to be fine, something could still go wrong. She could still lose it. If that happened, would Jack even believe she had been pregnant? Ronnie guessed he would have to; she was too far along, even if something went wrong she would have to continue with the pregnancy.

Ronnie dropped her head against the wall, Jack's words still sounding in her head. The wall was cold, hard and uncomfortable, but Ronnie made no move to get away from it. The discomfort helped keep her mind focused and stopped her falling into the awaiting blackness, just like the ant had done. She had to hold on, for the sake of her unborn child. Only if anything happened to them could she let go. Even if Jack had left her, she would keep going. She had to finally prove she could be a mother.

Her arms once again wrapped themselves around her stomach, reminding Ronnie of the life that grew there and why Jack couldn't be everything anymore. Why she couldn't let go, although the pain coursing through her was almost too much to bear and she didn't know if Jack was ever going to want her again. She would deserve nothing less.

Now that he was gone, the tears came freely. Sobs racked her entire body as Ronnie leaned against the wall, aching with the effort of just being there. She didn't know when she made the decision to sit down, but at some point, her body moved to lean backwards against the wall and slide down it onto the floor, where Ronnie sat, her knees pulled tightly up to her chest as she cried into them.

Eventually, after a long while in which she lost all sense of time, Ronnie drifted off into an uneasy sleep, her fallen tears still wet on her face, wedged in the corner between the door and the wall. She dreamed of her father, crazy, horrible dreams that left her shaking and whimpering in her sleep, but she couldn't wake. The dreams had her trapped, just like her dad did in her waking life, even though he was dead.

Jack slowly inched open the door, not wanting to make too much noise in case Ronnie was sleeping. He hadn't gone far. With one side only half working, he hadn't been able to walk very long without his chair. Instead, he had sat in the empty club, thinking of Ronnie and what she had done. At first, he had been angry. He had almost hated her. He'd been furious enough to use her past against her, things she had never even intended for him to find out; things that he knew would kill her to hear him throw at her.

He shoved against the door once more with his good arm, but realised that it wasn't budging even then. Something was at the other side, blocking it. Jack's heart turned over and he let out a gasp of strangled breath.

Ronnie.

The door was open just enough for Jack to slip inside and he did so as fast as his body would allow him to, his mind whirling with the sight that might meet his eyes. He didn't even take the time to shut the door again, as soon as he was inside, Jack's eyes dropped to the floor in front of him, praying he was mistaken about what was blocking the door. He wasn't.

Ronnie was there, curled against it, her eyes were closed, but she wasn't still. She stirred slightly, a small whimper escaping her throat and her eyes flickered without opening. She was breathing heavily, but not as if she was having difficulty. Jack felt an overwhelming sense of relief that left him dizzy and just as breathless as he had been when he feared the worst. Sleeping. She was only sleeping.

"Ron?" Muttered Jack, bending beside her and shaking her shoulder gently. She was clearly dreaming, about what, Jack didn't know, but he was pretty sure he could guess. Ronnie's eyes snapped open without any further encouragement and her eyes wildly shot around the room in a panic before coming to rest on Jack. She sighed, relief first fluttering in her heart which quickly turned to nerves. She didn't know how he felt about her, how he was going to react.

Looking at her, Jack knew what she was thinking. He squeezed her shoulder to reassure her. "I take it back," he told her, "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry." Then leaned forwards and kissed her, putting into the kiss what words never could.

**Well I can sleep properly again now that's out of my head. Isn't it annoying when you get plot bunnies that nibble the part of your brain that helps you sleep? **


End file.
